could it be, as Rumi stated,
Your task is not to seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers
within yourself that you have built against it
. . .maybe love is a choice, not a feeling. . .
…maybe definitions of love we have in a Western commodified culture are limited;
we may prefer to make and live love by our own constructs,
or ones we consider more pertinent or civilising…
we may consider love to go beyond the transitory nature of romance, for example,
Thich Nhat Hanh states
When you love someone, you have to have trust and confidence.
Love without trust is not yet love.
Of course, first you have to have trust, respect, and confidence in yourself.
Trust that you have a good and compassionate nature.
You are part of the universe; you are made of stars.
kindness to self, as well as to others, is a gracious act of love. . . . . .
and as Thich Nhat Hanh so eloquently states
Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person.
Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love.